My boyfriend and I talked on the phone two weeks prior to meeting and we had emailed back and forth several times on the site for over a week prior to meeting. We initially planned a phone call but because he had plans with family that ran late we had to put the phone call off, which I thought was fishy. But he called when he said he would the next time. He is very busy with his work, which is not unusual for his level. The conversation went well, I could tell he wanted to get to the elimination round.
I truly didn't care if I was in or out and was ready to stop dating for a while at this point anyway, I had not had any prior dates from Olderwomendating. I told him everything he wanted to know, including why my first marriage ended after 15 years, which is that my husband had decided to become a woman, that is enough to scare some men off right there. He wanted to know if I was ready for a serious relationship. That is precisely why I was dating, which I told him. Our conversation went over an hour and went very well. We decided we wanted to meet and left that open because I still was not sure what my schedule was with my THREE children (again another scary factor for some men). So, he rang me less than a week later and asked if we could get together. I wanted to see him, but I had made plans with a girlfriend to attend a play, she was not sure she was going to make it due to her work schedule so I told him I would have to get back to him.
I was going to be disappointed if I didn't get to meet this man who declared after I first "winked" at him on the site that we were a "match". So, I told my friend that I would prefer to meet this man that I've been trying to meet since she was unsure she could make it before doors close. I met my date at the theater and he was more down to earth and normal than I expected. I typically never made the first moves on the dating sites, but I did wink at about ten men on the same day that were all from the Houston area. I am sure glad I did that because I am so glad I met this one. He was the first man I met from the site, I don't ever want to meet another man. We had the best first date ever watching the Santaland Diaries that I had gotten tickets for and we walked to a historic hotel nearby that he knew of for dinner. He landed the first peck on the lips there. I usually do not want to kiss on the first date, but as we talked at dinner that night I could not help but think "Is this guy for real?", so his kiss was welcome. We have now been dating for almost eight months.
Initially when dating online, I had many rules for myself. I would not meet for more than a drink (waste of time, I thought). I would not initiate contact by emailing or winking. I am glad I bent the rules and decided to have a real date with a man who could carry on a good phone conversation and I winked at him first. I am a busy mom and I don't want to waste my time, but it is an investment of time. I had several REALLY bad dates for over 2 years before I met this man. I could write a very detailed book about those dates. But it was all worth it to meet the right person. My guy was also ready to throw in the towel, so keeping the attitude that they also have to take time out to make plans, be on time, shave, and generally carry on a good conversation and then pay the bill is a good start. It's a mutual effort.
I am glad I bent my rules and made the first move online. I had thought if they want to know me they would reach out, but some men who I might have been willing to get to know had eliminated me thinking I would not be interested in them. In fact, the man I am dating saw my pictures on another dating site and based on those thought I would not be interested in him. I disagree, I winked at him on Olderwomendating.com. I initially made the mistake on my profile on another site of saying what I don't want, and I did much better finding what I want when I stated honestly what I wanted. I think men should do the same on theirs.
There is a lot of speculation on the site about if it is "real" or "does it work". All I know is that it has worked for me to find a man who accepts me and my children. The site is as real as the people on it. I would recommend for the site to allow some interaction from successful members to new members of the same sex.