High profile politicians always catch the eye of media persons, but it isn’t often that their lesser known spouses do. Things were different for Brigitte Macron, the wife of French president Emmanuel Macron. Why was she suddenly thrust into the spotlight? Simply because she is 24 years older than Emmanuel.
Relationships with age gaps are often subject to scrutiny, but people are less likely to bat an eye if an older man is with a younger woman. Did you know, for example, that American president Donald Trump is 24 years older than his wife, Melania? But turn the tables and you are sure to elicit a response of shock or disdain from at least some people around.
People disapprove relationships with age gaps especially if the woman is older than the man. Society has often labelled older women who date younger men as “cougars” — after the wild cats. The supposed reason is that they “prey” on younger men who are “as innocent as rabbits”.
Lately, the term has come to be less judgmental. It simply refers to an older woman who is attracted to younger men. Minus the stigma. And when the term appears in this text, it is in the non-judgmental context.
Why do some men find older women attractive?
Most men who date cougars have common reasons to like older women. Some of these are:
Older women are more grounded and emotionally stable
They are self-aware, therefore they know their wants and needs
They can engage in deep, intellectual conversations
They are financially independent
They don’t necessarily pressurize their partners to take the relationship further
They are more experienced. Even in bed.
They bring a new perspective on life, that makes the relationship interesting
What are the apparent advantages of dating an older woman?
1. Sexual compatibility.
Sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but it is important. Being compatible with your partner is essential to maintain a healthy relationship. Research shows that sexual hormones peak at different times for men and women.
Men peak around the age of 18, while women peak around their 30s . Being with an older woman means that you can use biology to be compatible in the sack. Older women are also more likely to have more sexual encounters in their life than younger women and this experience can be attractive to men.
2. Maturity in a relationship
All that talk about experience and age might as well be true. Older women have more life experience and therefore are better equipped for dealing with different situations in life.
In relationships, they are less likely to fuss over things that are trivial and know how much attention to pay to what issue. They are also less likely to compromise on their relationship by indulging in an affair since the excitement of an affair dims with age.
3. Maturity in parenting
Parenting is a tough job and can be very time consuming and stressful. Most people buckle under the stress and frustration. Older women are more capable of raising children, knowing when to use discipline and when to gently guide them. They make it easier to solve parenting problems collaboratively and calmly.
4. Career stability
Older women have had more time to climb up the rungs of their career ladder. They are most probably at a high, stable position in their job. This means that they can be financially independent and contribute to the family economy.
They can be dependable partners that are equal partners in the money matters of the house. Their career experience can also be great insider advice that you cannot gain anywhere else.
5. Health compatibility
As mentioned earlier, women and men have different biology. This also extends to the lifespan of the two sexes. In general, women live longer than men. On average, women outlive men by five years.
Men are also more likely to die earlier due to nine out of the ten top causes of death. This is not due to lifestyle, but biology. Men are most biologically compatible with women five years older than themselves.
The number of cougars is on the rise, and for good reason. Women are now more likely to date younger men than in the past. This is probably due to the reduced stigma against the age gap. It is also helpful that the younger men in the present times have grown up seeing more powerful, mature women while growing up than people in the past. This makes them more accepting of and perhaps even attracted to the older women in their life.
But what is it that makes older women attracted to younger men?
A survey of different women in relationships found that women who date men younger than themselves are more satisfied than those who date older men or men close to them in age. They are also more committed to their partners.
While the exact causes are yet unknown, there are some reports that it stems from the restored power balance in relationships. Traditionally, power dynamics in relationships are biased towards men. When dating younger men, this balance is equalized, making women feel empowered. This, in turn, makes women feel valued and satisfied.
Sometimes, women are attracted to the idea of dating younger men because of the social status that comes with it. Younger men are considered more attractive, and winning their attention can be gratifying and boost self-esteem.
Younger men are also less likely to be disappointed by past relationship experiences, and therefore might be more optimistic. This optimism can be attractive to older women who might be worn down by the pressures and demands of life. Younger men are also more likely to not need commitment, and a relationship that is free of such an expectation can be alluring to older women.
In the bedroom too, younger men have more stamina. This makes for a satisfying sexual experience. Men age earlier than women and older men are more likely to lose libido than women of the same age. Therefore, older women might gravitate towards the idea of dating younger men.
What does society think of cougars?
A relationship with an age gap is generally frowned upon in society, but more so if the woman is older. In general, even though the couple is happy by itself, the partners are well aware of the stigma they face from society.
Even though it is like any other relationship, age gaps can be subject to intense scrutiny. Women, in particular, are made to feel insecure about their age and aging. Because they are considered to violate social norms, they suffer from society’s pointed gaze. They are often considered to be outsiders and receive less support, making their life stressful and less happy.
However, most people assert that age is just a number, and their relationships are just as stable as anyone else’s. More couples are being open about being in a relationship despite the age gap, and insist that society broaden its mindset.
The more people are vocal about their relationship, the easier it will be to get people to accept these relationships.
Summing it up:
Couples, where the women are older, know that the path ahead isn’t easy, but this doesn’t have to stop them from being there for each other and solidifying their relationship. The world is changing and people are more accepting of different relationships than they were in the past.
The most important aspect to consider is not age, but compatibility: sexual, interpersonal and in values. Because if you love someone, age is just another number.