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  • Trinity's Tips: How to Catch (and Keep) a Cougar
  • “Why older women?” That’s the question I ask all my potential cubs. I want to know exactly what’s behind the attraction. Sometimes there’s a story (an affair with a friend’s Mom), and sometimes it’s simply an attraction to the maturity and experience: “girls my age just don’t interest me,” or “older women know what they want.” Which we generally do. The answer each cub gives me tells m...

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Three Things Your Online Profile Needs Posted on Jan 17, 2018 at 09:37 AM

How to Snare Your Perfect Cougar, in Three Easy Steps


You found her in Search. Or maybe you swiped right in “Let’s Meet.” How do you get her to “Like” you back, send a Wink your way, or reply to your personal message?


The key in is your Profile, gentlemen. Giving hazy details or worse, leaving your Profile blank is a surefire way to miss out on your chance to meet some lovely ladies here. So as long as you’ve taken the time to post a Profile, why not take a few minutes more to do it right?


In my next three posts, I’m going to offer some tips for creating the best, most perfect online profile you can, to identify yourself, stand out from the crowd, and show her you are serious about finding someone special.


Today’s Tip, #1: Post a recent photo 

Post a profile photo! Don’t leave this blank. Why would you NOT want to have your picture accompany the rest of the information you share about yourself? I myself, never, EVER respond to a message, wink, or “like” from a cub who hasn’t posted a photo of himself. It’s like a “blind date” (do people still do that?).  A friend sets you up with a friend of a friend of a friend, etc. You have no idea what she looks like, and without a photo, it’s a crap shoot, whether there will be that spark or not. Looks mean something. They’re not everything, no. But in the world of online dating, they’re the best we’ve got.


A headshot or full body shot is preferable. And close up. A Profile photo of you running through the surf might make it look like you’re a fun, outdoorsy kind of guy, but she can’t see what you look like. And let’s face it, first impressions are key to making that ultimate connection.

Lose the sunglasses. Show her what you really look like. Hiding behind those shades, no matter how great they make you look, also makes it look like you, well, have something to hide. Be honest, starting with your photo.


Lose the arm candy, e.g., the beautiful, leggy blonde cousin who accompanied you to your sister’s wedding. No cougar wants to see you hanging on to another woman –especially a younger woman –or  see a photo of her fawning over you. Pairing yourself in a photo with another woman is a major turn-off.


Stay away from group shots. A photo with you and your buddies shows her what you like to do and where you like to hang, but, well, which one are you? What if she likes your buddy’s looks more than yours? Save yourself the hassle of misleading or mistaken identity and post a solo shot.


If you suck at selfies, and a lot of us do, have a friend snap a nice shot of you. Smile or not. Dress dressy, or not. Pose with your dog, or kids, or grandma. Whatever. Just be yourself.


Note: having your photo Verified by is well worth the effort. Lots of fakes, phantoms and catfish out there. Show some good faith in taking that first step to prove you are who you say you are.


We live in a visual world. It’s not fair, it’s not cool, but we do. Attraction – at least, initial attraction – always starts with that first impression. A good, honest photo is the best way to get her to click on your profile – and hopefully, to click with you. 

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Six Simple Steps Posted on Sep 20, 2016 at 10:52 AM

There are multiple benefits of dating an older woman. In addition to knowing what we want, our age and experience have provided us with special skills which, when offered to a young man such as yourself, can be quite exciting and fulfilling. We are generally more established, with fixed careers and stable income. Past relationships with older (or even younger) men have given us insight as to how to please our men and treat them with respect. While we get what we want from the relationship, we will generally let you be you and not try to change or manipulate you into being or becoming something else.


And while we aren’t interested in changing or manipulating you, we do appreciate a cub who is open to experience and advice, and wants to learn more about how to treat an older woman – or all women in general – properly, to fully enjoy all we have to offer.


What can you do to increase your chances of snagging that elusive, seductive, sexy and experienced older lady? Here are my covenants, my “must haves” I’d like to pass on to you, for catching the cougar of your dreams.


Tip#1: Be honest about yourself. Don’t try to trap her. According to statistics, a significant portion of people, men and women alike, are not completely truthful in their online profiles. Everyone wants to look good, but if you’re not really what she’s looking for, don’t try to fool her into a relationship. Most cougars, being of a certain age, have been around the block a time or two, and more often than not, they can see right through the nonsense, deception and bullsh*t those younger girls fall for.


Tip #2: Be honest about your intentions. Don’t waste her time. Women (and men) go on these sites for very specific reasons. Even if they say they are “just trying it out,” or “just looking around,” they usually have an ultimate goal in mind. Be honest about your intentions and in what you are looking for. There are cougars out there who:

 Just want to have fun, flirting with a cub online, not wanting to ever meet in person

  • Want a text partner to share sexting, web-chats and provocative pictures, and take it no further
  • Want to meet a nice cub, in person, for friendship and nothing else
  • Are looking for a life partner, someone for a serious long-term relationship, perhaps even marriage
  • Want to hook up with a cub, for sex and FWB
  • Are willing to pay your living expenses in exchange for your companionship and services, both inside and outside the bedroom
  • Want to meet and date a cub for a long-term, but not permanent relationship
  • Want a casual relationship; and with that sexual component, want their cub exclusively to themselves
  • Want a combination of any of the above, or even something entirely different

You will have better luck in getting what you want, if you truly want the same thing as she does. There’s no point in being what you’re not, or pretending to be what she wants. If she perceives that you are being deceitful, catfishing her, or just stringing her along, she’ll block you, and may even report you to the website administration.


Tip #3: Show her your face. Take off your sunglasses in your profile picture. She wants to see what you look like. Looks may not be everything, and everyone has their own tastes. But how can she know if there is a spark or connection, if she can’t see your eyes? Lose the shades.


Tip#4: Send dick pics or other naked photographs only if asked. Some women like it, some women don’t. If she does, she’ll eventually ask you for one. If she doesn’t, an unsolicited dick pic can be a real turn-off for her, and she’ll likely not even bother to reply. She may even block you so you don’t bother her again.


Tip #5: Avoid playing games. Be up-front honest about who you are, what you want, and what you’re willing to do, including how far you are actually willing to travel. Give this careful thought. Older women have no patience for pretense or ambiguity. If you try to fool her, tell her what you think she wants to hear, or in other ways lead her to believe you’re not who you say you are, she’ll drop you faster than you can say “sugar mama.”


Tip #6: Clean up your act. If you agree to meet in person, you will want to make your very best first impression. Shower. Shave. Trim your facial hair. Wear clean clothes and a little fragrance (but not too much). Dress nice. The t-shirt, shorts, and backwards ball cap are fine for a night of binge drinking with your buddies, but a cougar is seeking a cub because she wants to show off that nice-looking younger man. “Arm candy” is sweet, clean, tasteful, and appealing. If you snag a first date and want a second one, you need to prove to her you are worthy of her company.

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